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  • Soul Mate or Scam Bait?

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  • Soul Mate or Scam Bait?

    However, when you text a person on a Friday morning, an hour later log onto OK Cupid to find said person online when you still have no text from said person, operation “conclusion jumping” has already commenced. The only conclusion I jump to at this point in my dating career in this particular situation is that he’s an asshole. I didn’t know what “ghosting” was until I entered the world of online dating and, let me tell you, it’s just another word for being an asshole. What happened to saying, “Hey, I think you’re great but, just not for me” or “I’ve decided to become a priest so I won’t be needing a girlfriend.” Lie or tell the truth but DON’T BE RUDE and not respond. This has happened to me several times, before a date and even after a couple. I’m beginning to wonder, on what planet were these men raised?imlive credits If you’re not interested in someone, even after a couple dates, be honest and upfront. It’s not hard, guys. Feelings change for one reason or another, albeit in New York City, people’s feelings change from one sip of Starbucks to the next. After sending this around to some of my friends, I’ve been told that A) this is f**king fabulous and SPOT ON and B) I need to read Aziz Ansari’s book Modern Romance: An Investigation because apparently great minds think alike. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Online Dating Tagged in: men, Online Dating, romance We all have a different sense of what style is, so it is not strange that two persons, regardless of the feelings they have to each other, can dislike each other’s clothing.

    While this doesn’t sound like something that could cause any solid relationship a serious problem, it can often grow into something bigger. Her dislike for your oversized navy sweater can be just a frown on her face or an eye-roll when you are wearing it at the beginning. Before you know it, she won’t be able to have a look at you without seeing that sweater. She won’t be willing to take you to her friends’ celebrations or work events. Where once was an untamable passion, there will be a tiny flame struggling to survive. OK, we might have taken it way too far, but you get the picture. Now, let’s make things easier for you. Look for the signs It is not likely that she will straight out say to you that she doesn’t like the way you dress, even if you are, in most cases, honest to each other. It could not look this way, but this is a delicate subject. So, look for clues that might indicate that she would give you a fool makeover. Oh no, your oversized navy sweater has gone missing! If you notice that your clothing pieces magically disappear sometimes, that could be your girl, telling you to replace them with something better.She always insists on picking your outfits for special events and she is a little too excited to do that.She gives you a bunch of compliments about one particular outfit she likes.She always comes back with her shopping trips with a few items for you, suggesting your wardrobe is in serious dependence on some updating.She acts distant and looks uncomfortable when you two are together in public. Help her help you Be honest, you couldn’t care less about what you are wearing. It’s probably your ego that is making you flaunt the mentioned sweater or a worn-out band name T-shirt.

    So, if this is something she cares about, let her have it.  Ask her to go shopping with you. Let her know you value her opinion and want to hear her input. And then actually take her advice. Of course, if she indicates something you really hate and feel uncomfortable in, respectfully decline and ask to try on something different. If you can’t be a good original, be the best copy “Mad Men”, “Peaky Blinders”, “Suits”… There are so many TV shows that have set the bar for gentlemen’s style, and in case you can’t come up with something original, you can steal from their book. Even David Beckham is infatuated with TV-inspired fashion, and these days he looks like he’s buying his clothes at the same store as Tommy Shelby. What all of these characters are trying to tell you is that you can’t go wrong with mens suits, especially when they are well-fitting. There is a suit for every occasion, ranging from a family visit to a classy wedding. The best thing about suits is that you can use them as an outline for constructing your casual style too – tailoring, color combinations, and layering become a piece of cake once you’ve mastered the

    What women want?

    Why You Should Never Date Guys Named Ben

    The answer to this question came to Mel Gibson in the romantic 2000 comedy the hard way, but when it comes to dressing up, it doesn’t take a lot of brainstorming to figure it out. Here are a few basic tips to keep you sharp: Instead of “statement” T-shirts, wear button-up shirts.If you are going with a T-shirt, try a basic one.Keep your jeans not too tight, not too loose.Choose a pair of stylish sneakers that go well with everything.If you want to hold on to your youthful appearance, adapt it to your current age. Lenny Kravitz is a good example of pulling off the age-appropriate rock style with class.Be clean and tidy. If you would like be loved – love! The problem might not be only in the way you dress. It could be something deeper, such as how are you feeling while you are wearing those close. Are you oozing confidence or self-doubt? Your partner might just want to see you happy and have a positive self-image.

    this way, it doesn’t matter what you are wearing, you will look well.  When Jaime Lannister said “The things we do for love”, he didn’t exactly mean switching his golden cape for Lannister signature colors, because Cersei wants him to, but he would do that too if she wanted it. The bottom line is that relationships need constant work and in case one of the actions you need to take is changing the way you dress, do it. However, another thing that relationships require is honesty and if you do have any doubts, you can try to talk about it with your girlfriend and start with a clean slate, or should we say – a clean wardrobe. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook12Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Online Dating Tagged in: clothing, Fashion, men’s fashion, men’s lifestyle Neighbor John is less pimp than Neighbor Larry. Look upon Larry’s majestic locks and that stare. It’s time, once again for an edition of “Ask the Urban Dater.” Today, fortunately, we don’t have to deal with a question about why a guy is fascinated with girl and girl midget fireman hentai porn.

    This is a very good thing and I’m so very relieved that we can skirt that type of question. Today’s question is brought to us by the Buffy that is lovely Urethra Slayer.  That said, let’s get to the nitty gritty and get down to business with Buffy. Cover your urethra, gentlemen. Buffy, the Urethra Slayer So, I’ll never be Mrs. Neighbor John and I’m “okay” with it. That’s how the story goes anyway. I live on the third floor and Neighbor John on the second floor, the past three years. Well, we had a “thing.” Okay, okay I pretty much pleasured him. I got something out of it, too! He’s funny and I loved the banter; the spooning was the most effective. He would throw ice cubes off his patio to get my attention while I was laying poolside. The sexting messages were steamy; I frequently did the walk of shame in the middle of the night wearing nothing more than an overcoat ( there are other neighbors; it’s a condo). Things between us ended badly… He was still involved with a long distance girlfriend it turns out; and to add insult to injury he found a LARGER woman! Even more interesting was that I would see her car parked in his spot!!

    That bugged the crap out of me. Well, it’s been a year and we both still live here; sure i have seen other men. Hell I was seeing other men even while I was “pleasuring” Neighbor John! However, I can’t help but to feel irritated. HELP! How do I get past this feeling, short of moving! Oh, Buffy! I know just how you feel!! I’m able to sympathize with being irritated by a man you’re pleasuring! Hmm. Actually, that’s not true at all because if it were true (which, as I’ve already told you, is not at all true!) my girlfriend would perform Baraka’s Fatality move, from Mortal Kombat. Moving on… So here’s what I’m getting from you, Buffy.

    You had a fling with this guy; you used him and he used you. You treated each other like pieces of meat and tore at each other like starving carnivores over a single piece of game. That’s what this boils down to. What’s interesting here is that what you’re feeling is something that I talked about with Single Much and Single City guy, in NYC, a couple weekends ago. You see, Single Much bumped into her exe’s ex girlfriend at the bar that we were all hanging out at. I told her that the girl at the bar wasn’t as cute as her, which can be true. Single Much felt better, her ego was boosted. Why? Subconsciously we need validation; we want to know that we’re a damn good catch and likely better than the next tramp our ex scoops out of the gutter. Not to say that Neighbor John scooped you out of the gutter, obviously. �� Translation: Neighbor John took a dump on your ego. He was giving his attention to some other woman that you felt “didn’t measure up.” You see, Neighbor John seemingly chose a less appealing woman than you. In your mind you might be asking yourself, “What the f*ck does that tubby lady have that I don’t?” Who knows.

    It’s possible this heroic lady was a superior “lay,” maybe she gives better head than you.  Does it really matter, though? We both know it doesn’t matter at all.

    Enter Your Number into My Phone

    Right? So what can you do about this and get over the “hump,” so to speak? There’s a couple of ideas of what you can do. The first idea is from my niece: “ I would take a bag of dog shit and light it on fire on that dude’s patio.” That’s kinda why I enjoy my niece so much. She’s an asshole, like her Uncle!  My advice would be to confront the situation head on and actually invite the two over for dinner or out for drinks. Be friendly and engage them and be “first.” My best friend’s step dad once told me that when confronted by a situation of great awkwardness, such as seeing an ex you’d rather not see, you should approach the situation first.

    That is, say “hello” to the object of your discomfort. Meet them head on and engage them; show them that you’re confident and you don’t give a damn about what they’re doing with or to each other. Of course you could either find a random dude from the bar (or hire a male escort) and screw the guy’s brains out in a place where Neighbor John will see you, this way you’ll know that HE knows you’re getting your boat rocked better than he ever could. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships, Sex, Tips & Advice Tagged in: long distance relationships, sexting We’re at it again, more from ‘Ask the Urban Dater,’ our user generated submissions to us about their problems and mishaps where we attempt to say something of meaning and use. Good fucking luck with that. So feel free to read-our reader’s question: Hi, I (48) am dating this wonderful guy (57) who seems to be really into me. Gives me a goodtime, cares for me, makes me laugh, plans nice dates (occasionally though) and more of the good stuff. My issue is, he has an ex-wife that he is sepatrated and finally divorced from. He is still in touch with her in a way that I find uncomfortable. He says he left her, because their sex life was not working.

    So he decided after a 10 years marriage to move on. They still talk on phone, visit each other both publically, privately and in family functions. He says she is his soulmate and best friend. He takes her out to dinners, movies and music concerts. He also works as her handyman when she needs him. They are friends on facebook and pretty interactive with each other. He is also involved with her family. This makes me feel uncomfortable as he wants to start a new relationship with me. I wonder if he or she still have something remaining in the department of feelings. This makes me feel insecure as to he probably wants to use me unly for sexual monogamy and still emotionally involved with her. They do not have children together, nor do they work together, nor have any joint property or business together. For me it is hard to accept she constantly being into the picture still. My question is should I dump him for this or is it my insecurities that are making me feel uncomfortable? An advise from men’s perspective will be really helpful. — Tanya Harding Well Tanya, this one ain’t easy.

    But I’ll give it the ol’ college try. There’s a certain level of comfort we build with someone after a period of time has passed. Their voices are familiar and even soothing, though, you may not know it. Maybe you still buy the same groceries that you did when you were together aka buying shit for people you don’t live with anymore. There are a lot of comforts that make a home a home. If sex was the wedge that drove them apart and not him cheating on her then that’s not a “bad” break in the truest sense. What I mean is that they ended on something that wasn’t catastrophic. He didn’t cheat on her; he didn’t fall out of love with her presumably; they grew apart in what they wanted/needed from one another. They certainly don’t hate one another. Will feelings remain? It’s been ten fucking years that they’ve been together; you’re goddamned right there will be lingering feelings there. If there weren’t, then I’d question the authenticity of their relationship.

    Feelings don’t just shut off because you want them to. But I also understand that there are things we can and cannot deal with. Dealing with your beau’s ex may not be tolerable for you and it’s similar for a lot of other folks. That’s fair. I’ve said before that trust is paramount. You have to be able to trust your partner in the most extreme circumstances; you have to trust them to make the right decision in the most stressful/testing of situations. Otherwise, why would you get into something deeper with them? If you believe in your man’s commitment to you and you trust him then his old flame shouldn’t be a bother. However, you do have a right to be heard and to be respected. If you feel threatened by the ex, you need to let him know and you need to let him know that it’s not acceptable. If he respects you, he’ll speak to you about it and work something out, though, I find it outside of reason that he would completely remove her from his life; perhaps he would lessen her overall impact… At some point, they both need to move on and that’s really hard to do when exes keep on talking. Friendship can again exist someday, but time is needed to let things heal. In this instance communication and honesty is the way forward. Now get down to business and have a heart to heart with your man. Send me a sexy pic of yourself, too.

    Seriously. Alex Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Ask the Urban Dater, Relationships Sleeping positions can reveal a lot about you; for example, if you hog the bed (my all time favourite position), it signifies that you like to have control of things – and that sums me up completely! However, your sleeping position with your partner can say even more about the type of relationship that you have. Whether you sleep with your back to your partner (also my favourite – I’m clearly miserable), or very close to them, there is a meaning behind it. Scientists say that you cannot fake your body language whilst being asleep which is why it is able to reveal so much. Your sleeping habits can reveal hidden strains in the relationship and in some cases, can even identifying how long you have been together – or it might just be that you’re partner gets a serious case of toxic ‘morning breath’ and the only method of escaping the cloud of smell is to turn your back in a half zombie like state. So, how do you sleep when you’re sharing your beloved bed? Here are some of the most common sleeping positions and what they truly mean: Honeymoon Position This is when a couple sleeps in each others arms; it is known as the honeymoon position because it is said to be most common during the first few years or being together – the ultimate ‘lovey, dovey, slushy‘ sleep position. The couple always want to be close to each other and also sleep facing each other.

    However if you have been together for a long time and have recently starting to face each other again, it could be an indication that you wish to be intimate and reconnect with your partner. Cuddling This is when you are wrapped around your partner whilst facing the same direction. – it is often known as ‘spooning’. If the person on the outside, doing the wrapping is the man, they’re are said to be showing a sign of control and protection. On the other hand,  if the woman is doing this, she is demonstrating her nurturing nature. Again, this is common during the first few years of relationships. Looped Legs Looped legs can include several different positions, but always involves the couple linking their legs together. This demonstrates togetherness but it is also a sense of freedom and respect for each other’s individuality – again, the looped legs position may only occur during the first couple of years in a relationship – mainly due to the fact that many give up on the old ‘shaving’ duties after a while, and nobody wants to loop with a stubbly leg! Shingles The shingles position isn’t as bad as it sounds, trust me. This is when a head is resting on the other person’s shoulder, signifying that you are more dependent on the other.

    This is common if the couple have been together for over a year. Distant Sleepers If you face away from each other and sleep with distance between you, relationship psychologists view this as symbolism for wanting to be independent. Most distant sleepers sleep on opposite sides of the bed; this signifies a lack of intimacy and may often lead to a game I like to call ‘Duvet Wars’. This can be seen when couples have been married or together for a long period of time. It is also common after having children. Bottom Huggers This is when the couple sleep apart but still have their bottoms touching. It is seen as giving each other space but still demonstrating that you want to remain intimate. There are a few variations of this for example, not facing each other but having your backs touching. This is most often seen in married couples. Superwoman and Superman This is if the woman is fully stretched out across the bed but the man is on the edge of the mattress. It indicates that the man takes the secondary position in the relationship but does not mind this, and allows the woman to take her space. However, this also works the other way with a man being stretched across the bed and a woman sleeping on the edge – this really is called the Superman.

    This can also be found when couples are arguing and are freezing each other out. Some of these positions shatter the illusions created by romantic films, you know the ones, where couples are seen holding each other whilst sleeping – does anybody really do that?! In fact this position is only common within the first few years of being together. You can now identify which one of these you and your partner fall into and see what it reveals about your relationship – happy sleeping!   Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook4Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships Tagged in: bed hog, Dating, For Men, For Women, my boyfriend is a bed hog, my girlfriend steals the sheets, relationship, Relationships, sleeping, sleeping together, sleeping with a partner, sleeping with someone When getting ready for a first date every person, be they male or female, spend time preening for their first date.

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